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This week is huge! Possibly a week of awareness like no other. National coverage ALL DAY on the BBC media channels including a Panorama episode about Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood.

On 5th February, Panorama investigates SUDC!!!

2 years on since William died and a few days ahead of what should be his 4th birthday, I find myself, along with many families in this country, and across the world, searching for answers, for an explanation why our healthy child suddenly

and without explanation, died.

This week I should be wrapping birthday presents, blowing up balloons, planning a party, asking William which birthday cake he’d like, instead I find myself clinging on to hope that this coverage raises a huge amount of awareness and more is done to support families like mine. Families who are thrown into the depths of grief and despair and not knowing where to turn. I was a lucky one who was signposted to SUDC UK and I hope that more families find the charity and the support they deserve whilst navigating the loneliness of childloss.

I’ve been stripped of a lot of joy and happiness over the past 2 years, with another huge milestone on the horizon which we are about to miss out on, William should be starting school in September.

I imagined his early days when his big brothers would come looking for him at break time, checking in on him. I don’t think I would have felt nervous about him transitioning from pre school to primary school as his brothers would have been there to watch out for him. I can't stop thinking about the sibling photo of my 3 boys, all looking smart in their school uniform, instead, all I have is a photo of them in 2021 because that’s the last time they were all together.

I find myself looking at photos and videos of William and find it umbelievable, to try and piece together what happened to him. Some days I wonder if I imagined and made up this perfect little boy, and other days I just can’t accept this shocking truth, that I will never see him again, never see him grow and make memories with Max and Lewis.

I hope many of you reading this will tune in on Monday night to watch Panorama. I haven’t seen it ahead of being aired, but I know it’s going to be very emotional, it’s a club no parent would want to be part of, a topic of utter devastation, but please watch and learn more about SUDC.

I am thinking of every family affected by Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood and hope that the next few days of media coverage helps SUDC UK as they continue to move mountains, all in the memory of every beautiful child taken far too soon.

Hannah x


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